When “Privacy” Is Not Private: Lessons from A Viral Online Moment
By now you have heard the audio, seen the video, and possibly even shared the memes. What are we talking about? The same thing that the entire internet seemed to be talking about just a few short weeks ago–the Coldplay kiss cam video. It seemed like everyone weighed in, and now we are here with a professional opinion from a divorce lawyer in Cleveland. Here we will get into some lessons every couple can take away from this public exposure of infidelity, and how it can have a very real bearing on your divorce or dissolution case.
What Happened?
On a balmy July night, at a Coldplay concert near Boston, Massachusetts, the stadium’s “kiss cam” was scanning the audience, looking for couples to feature on the jumbotron. It settled on a couple intertwined in an embrace, and Coldplay lead singer Chris Martin focused the crowd’s attention on the screen. What happened next will be forever remembered by pretty much everyone who has spent any time online.
The couple saw that they were spotted and featured on the jumbotron and immediately reacted. The woman hid her face and jumped away, the man ducked. Chris Martin famously said, “either they’re having an affair, or they’re just very shy.” Then, the internet went wild. Videos of the interchange went viral, and it was quickly uncovered that they both worked at Astronomer, a technology company that specialized in AI and data management. It also became well-known that the man was married to someone else.
You would think that any tech company–and their C-suite executives–so deeply embedded in the AI scene would inherently know the potential privacy risks that are around every corner and act accordingly. You would also think that they would realize that this risk was only heightened when seen together, out in the world. But Astronomer’s CEO and Chief People Officer (HR and compliance), two folks who really should know a lot about ethics and appropriate work relationships, clearly flouted everything they knew professionally and improperly assumed that since they were in a mass of people, they would not risk standing out or being discovered. Had they not reacted as they did, it is possible that perhaps no one would have recognized them. However, their intense reaction that the Coldplay frontman then underscored with his comments, made the situation go viral (hello, Streisand effect playing out in real time). Folks online were determined to uncover the couple’s identities. Once that information was available, the repercussions ultimately led to both of their resignations.
Coldplay KissCam Scandal: What Do We Learn From A Legal Standpoint?
Losing one’s source of employment is no laughing matter, but that is not the focus of our discussion. We have previously elaborated on the risks of using social media and other security concerns surrounding electronic communications, and how these can negatively impact a divorce, child custody, or support case. This Coldplay kiss cam situation illustrates another area in which couples considering or in the midst of divorce need to be cautious–behavior in public.
In many cases, someone who is seeking divorce from their spouse may have already been exposed for being in an extramarital relationship. That could be part of the cause behind the divorce. However, for others who may have their sights set on divorce and at the same time are pursuing a relationship with another person, our best advice is to wait. Someone in the throes of a new relationship may feel that they will be able to cover their tracks, but it is easy to let one’s guard down–it is easy to slip up, say, at a Coldplay concert.
That said, it does not require being broadcast on a jumbotron and then on every media outlet online to be outed for cheating on your soon-to-be ex-spouse. All you need to do is walk around your neighborhood together, be caught on drone footage, say the wrong thing as you pass a doorbell camera, or encounter an old acquaintance who happens to be wearing smartglasses. Whether you are spending time in stores, in public parks, or even in perceived “private” spaces (like an AirBNB), whether you are sharing locations or other information on social media sites or using ChatGPT, you are leaving a clear and traceable data trail. Yes, every single shred of that data has the potential to be retrieved and used against you.
This is why, at the Law Offices Of Cara L. Santosuosso, LLC, we advise our clients to stay off of online forums, chats, and social media sites, to refrain from sharing personal information and images, and to even be cautious about data security in emails, texts and workforce collaboration platforms like Slack when they are considering or currently involved in a divorce case. If this is true for an average person, then just imagine how important it is for entertainers and athletes looking to keep their divorce as private as possible–you are only hurting your case if you continue to share information online.
There Is No Such Thing As Privacy
As mentioned, anywhere you go, it is safe to assume that you are being recorded. You may feel that you are anonymous and have a certain level of privacy, but this is rarely if ever true. From the Internet of Things we have surrounding us at all times in our homes, cars and offices, to location-sharing technologies and constant surveillance by our own or others’ security systems, there is rarely a place we may be that is truly unknown and private. Everything can be traced, everything can be tracked, many things can be recorded. Yes, you can take certain measures to reduce the amount of information you share with others, but unless you eschew all technology, it is very hard to be off of every radar out there.
So, while you can do all that is possible to take control of your privacy online, a key part of your strategy needs to be accepting the fact that you are nearly always being watched or recorded. Even if you aren’t aware of a security camera or other device, it is most likely there, taking note of what you say and do. In this day and age, being recognized via biometrics markers, like your face or other unique features and traits, is also a serious concern. Ideally, for those going through a divorce, protective steps would include not getting involved with someone else at all. However, if that has already happened, then it is best to be very cautious about what you share, online or otherwise.
Remember that anything you share online can be used, and even taken out of context or twisted, to show that you are unfit or risky. Especially when children and custody arrangements are concerned, it is responsible on the parents’ part to prioritize their children and hold off on jumping into another romantic relationship for the time being. Remember that any actions you take can impact your children, both positively and negatively. Whatever course you decide to chart, be smart about the data you share and you can hope to have the best outcome possible.
Your Local Divorce Attorney In Cleveland
As data sharing continues to shift and change, and as there are increasingly less and less private spaces, individuals who are considering or involved in a divorce need to be extra cautious. If you are in need of a divorce lawyer, you want to be sure that they have a handle on the legal consequences of information sharing and how technology and data collection can impact your case, both for good and bad.
At the Law Offices Of Cara L. Santosuosso, LLC, we understand the risks that technology poses to couples navigating divorce. We are here to help, with an eye always on your, your family’s, and your children's best interests. To work with a collaborative divorce lawyer or a child custody lawyer who knows the risks that modern life can bring to your case, contact us or schedule a consultation online. Together we can get you and your children where you need to be.