Mental Health and Self-Care During Divorce

March 12, 2026

In the long run, divorce is often going to alleviate suffering of one kind or another and allow one or both parties to live their life with more freedom–that is a good thing. However, during the process itself, when a couple is in the moment, divorce can easily become overwhelming, often leading to negative emotions and subsequent unhealthy or even destructive coping habits. Before this becomes an issue for you, it is important to take a look at the things that could come up during divorce and have a plan in place to cope and maintain wellness during this difficult time. If children are involved, this is even more imperative, as you cannot properly support them if you are struggling yourself.

At the Law Offices Of Cara L. Santosuosso, LLC we understand what is at stake in divorce and dissolution. While we are not medical professionals, we are client advocates, and we have seen the toll that the neglect of mental health and lack of self-care can have on individuals working through divorce. Here we will share what we feel is sound advice, but of course we will always recommend seeking out assistance and advice from a medical professional if the situation becomes unsupportable.

What Is Self-Care?

Defined as “the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one's own health,” self-care is a broad-reaching term. It will mean different things for different people, depending on their needs, preferences, and circumstances. At its core, self-care starts with an advocacy mindset and a person making a practice of taking an active role in protecting their own well-being and happiness. More often than not, discussions around self-care focus on caring for oneself during periods of stress. Divorce is a time when self-care is mandatory, not optional.

What can self-care look like? Basically, it is moving your mental energy and focus onto yourself. You are reestablishing yourself as a person independent from the life you may have been living for many years. Obviously, if you have minor children from the relationship you are leaving, you will be paying them special attention as well, but the aim is not to disappear behind others’ wants and needs. While divorce is stressful and a deconstruction of sorts, self-care is meant to help you to be more grounded and steady, regardless of the situation. This stability comes from intentional nurturing of your physical, emotional, and mental health.

Self-care is personal, and so will differ for each individual, but the following are just some of the ways that you can focus on yourself during divorce:

Health: consistent routine that includes nutritious meals, adequate sleep, and regular exercise
Nurturing: relaxing activities (e.g. warm baths, massages) that help to relieve tension
Environment: spend time reorganizing your living space to optimize comfort and ease
Emotions: feel all the feelings without judgment or getting stuck in a negative feedback loop–journal to acknowledge and begin to process heavy emotions
Mindfulness: meditation, yoga, and breathing techniques help to center, ground, and keep you in the present
Boundaries: minimize unnecessary contact with a former partner and any others whose speech or actions may compound stress or negative feelings
Decisions: avoid making major life changes or weighty decisions while under the stress of a divorce
Support: avoid isolation and seek aid from compassionate friends, family, or your extended community members
Hobbies: find–or rediscover–hobbies and activities that bring you joy and fulfillment
Time: use small windows of personal time to take short trips, enjoy a leisurely walk in nature, or to do another enjoyable activity
Others: find simple ways to help others in your community–this helps to turn attention away from your own problems and brings personal satisfaction

There are countless other ways to care for yourself during a stressful time like divorce, but we hope that the above list gives you some actionable tips to get started on your self-care journey.

Why Does Self-Care Matter During Divorce?

In recent years, self-care has spent a lot of time in the spotlight, and due to it becoming such a mainstream concept, it could lose some validity in many individuals’ estimation. However, something being popular does not erase the kernel of truth that exists at the heart of why a topic has garnered so much attention in the first place. Far from what media often portrays, self-care really is about showing up for yourself. This is even more important during times of stress–like divorce–when you may be one of your only advocates. After all, if you do not show up for yourself, who will?

Self-care forces you to slow down and pay attention. You can start to notice small shifts in your attitudes, feelings, emotional responses and more. In noticing changes, you can also find patterns that you did not previously register. Doing the hard work of slowing down and noticing allows you to better process and deal with the emotions as they come. You may notice certain coping mechanisms that could lead to potentially destructive or harmful behavior. It is important to be honest with yourself. Self-care is about being gentle with yourself, but it is not an excuse to ignore red flags. Acknowledge if you are engaging in unusual activities or pulling back from common activities and spend some time assessing why you might be doing that.

Getting a clear picture of yourself in the moment and being able to compare this version of you with previous versions can be invaluable to helping you understand yourself better and to pinpoint where you may need help to cope. Journaling and checking in with yourself also affords you ample opportunity to intentionally choose gratitude, positivity, and peace. Even during the stress of divorce, there can be simple things that you are grateful for. Making a daily practice of writing down at least three things that you are thankful for gives you something positive to focus on and also forms a catalog of good feelings to look back on when you are having an especially difficult day.

Taking care of yourself might feel like a luxury, but it is truly a necessity during stressful times. When you invest in yourself you will be better able to preserve your mental health and well-being and foster much-needed resiliency. Taking care of your physical health is proven to be a natural stress reliever–the body and mind love to be in motion and outdoors if at all possible. If you are in a grounded and calm mental state, you will also be able to better care for others, such as children and aging or infirm family members or friends. Like the proverbial comparison to being in an aircraft, you need to put the oxygen mask on yourself before you can be of help to those around you–put your health and well-being first wherever possible.

Why Mental Health Matters During Divorce

Divorce takes an undeniable mental toll on all parties involved. Any event that disrupts long-held routines and redefines life as you know it can bring up deep-seated concerns about identity, trust, and security along with practical worries about finances and the future. Sadness, anger, anxiety, and relief are all common emotional responses that you may feel all at once or individually. It is a lot to deal with and it can take time to unravel and truly sit with how you are feeling.

Stress and the resulting negative emotions you may be experiencing can directly impact some of the most important baseline health needs–appetite, sleep, and concentration. You could feel as though you are floundering, adrift, and in this mental state it is easy to succumb to harmful or destructive thinking, actions, and coping mechanisms. Depression or anxiety disorders could even result if worries and negative thoughts are left unaddressed. This is especially true if current emotional distress is bringing up old or unresolved trauma. If that is the case, it is best to speak to a trained therapist.

As difficult or challenging as it may be, prioritizing mental health during divorce is a must. Persistent, unrelenting stress is known to lead to a weakened immune system, impact overall health, and even worsen existing conditions. Only by recognizing the toll your current situation is taking on you can you begin to make things right. Instead of negative self-talk, self-compassion and understanding need to be the aim. With this mindset, you will be better equipped to handle the daily, practical concerns while also processing the heavy emotional load that divorce inevitably brings. If you notice problematic thinking, it could be time to seek professional counseling.

How To Prioritize Mental Health

It is easy to tell individuals how to prioritize their mental health, but it is not always easy for them to implement the advice. There is often a large degree of friction involved, and friction can be difficult to work through when in the throes of negative emotions. However, there are some simple ways to protect your mental state:

Avoid individuals who reinforce any negative self-talk
Ask your community for help and support
Avoid isolating yourself and share your feelings with trusted friends or family
Speak to yourself as you would to a good friend
Reject self-critical thoughts and find evidence to refute them
Switch up your routine and try something new to mix up your days
Schedule time for relaxing and doing nothing in particular
Establish routines for sleep, exercise, journaling and other activities
Cultivate a sense of gratitude
Limit social media use, especially before bed
Acknowledge and validate your emotions as part of the transition and healing process
Give yourself leniency to not feel or function your best for a time
Join a support group for individuals going through divorce
Invest in your physical health and wellbeing
Avoid power struggles and arguments with your former partner
Spend time doing things that bring you joy
Be flexible and adaptable during the transition
Establish clear boundaries with your ex-partner, family and friends

This is also a time to work toward building a new social support network, as the tight circle of friends you previously had as a couple may no longer be around. Getting involved in activities and causes that matter to you personally can help you to find empathetic, like-minded individuals who can keep you from feeling isolated and alone.

Rest assured that as you work through complex emotions and navigate the transition from married life to single life, you will find a new, different “normal” that will feel comfortable for you. It takes time, and the timeline is different for everyone, but the end result is worth the effort. This is an opportunity to learn more about yourself and discover the person you can become–it can be empowering to embrace the journey.

Seek Professional Counseling and Assistance

You may be able to successfully navigate divorce with your own tenacity and the support of your community. However, not everyone has the same resources immediately available, and not everyone has the same level of innate resilience. Life and its ups and downs impact everyone differently. For those who have a history of mental or emotional health concerns, support and positive self-talk may not suffice. When persistent sadness, withdrawal, or panic attacks begin to interfere with daily life and close relationships, it is time to ask for help.

Realistically, it is a good idea for everyone going through divorce to speak with a therapist, as a qualified professional can make a more objective assessment than someone in the thick of it can. For some, therapy and treatment may be just what they need to move past divorce. There is absolutely no shame in this, as it is simply another form of healthcare and ultimately, self-care. Beyond one-on-one therapy sessions, joining a support group for those in a similar situation to yours can also be very helpful. Leaning on those who have experienced what you are experiencing can give you important insights and healthy ways to cope.

Those going through divorce may also need to seek financial advice. This could range from setting up a realistic budget to investing and estate planning. When finances are disentangled during the divorce process, it can require professional expertise to straighten things out again. Divorced individuals may also want to seek help in establishing new insurance policies for themselves–be it life insurance or personal insurance policies–especially if they were previously on their ex-partner’s plan.

Work With Experienced Divorce Lawyers In Cleveland

At the Law Offices Of Cara L. Santosuosso, LLC we have come to find that prioritizing mental health during divorce is an absolute necessity. Deliberate, daily self-care, mindfulness, boundary setting and access to a support group can help to manage the inevitable stress and emotional burden.

On top of all the work you need to do to keep your own balance, you do not want to have to worry about the team handling your divorce. Our skilled and experienced divorce attorneys in Cleveland are ready to assist. When you work with us, you can trust that we will advocate for your rights and your family’s best interests. Whether your divorce is collaborative, or circumstances demand a court trial, you can depend on us to always fight for you.